The battle rages on. Gabark fires an arrow at the deceptively intimidating Orc Freak. Suddenly, Orc Freak smashed Tristrim so hard that 20 years in the future Tristrim’s son starts screaming while he watches his hand disappear (Credit Seanbaby for this joke). Rombolas tries something but it just ends up being embarrassing. Tristim rolls over onto a bandaid and is no longer dying. Evennia brings Tristim back from the dead. Rohgar charges in and further heals the man, he then makes ready an offensive gesture for use at a time of dire need. Human Hexer runs in and vaporizes the Orc Freak. An archer tries to attack Tristrim but is distracted by his pectoral muscles. It’s a well known fact in the medical community that pictures of Tristrim’s pecs are used in third world countries as a substitute for fertility drugs. Garbark fires an arrow and Rombolas fires some fire at the archer causing him much suffering. Tristrim finishes the job with one archer and all that remains is a very unhappy other-archer, which Evennia makes short work of. Thus completes this encounter and we begin searching the bodies. Tristrim and Gabark requisition each a giant club the size of Gabark.
We head down the hallway to the north and decide to get through a wooden door. There is no doorknob so it’s head-butting time. Tristrim and Rohgar slam the door so hard that train wrecks thought their father was coming home. Gabark takes a peak into the room and Rombolas shove him and himself into it. Tristrim follows after an unsuccessful attempt at convincing one of the Human Hexers to groom his hair. The 3 of us find ourselves suddenly trapped inside a Gelatinous Cube. Gabark decides to start eating his way out. Tristrim tries brute force, no good. Rombolas hits it with a hadoken! He’d like some pound cake. Rogar, at the permission of those found within the gelatin, throws a grenade in the gelatin. The grenade goes off inside the gelatin (because Gabark’s Engineer’s fuses burn underwater). 1/3 of the cube is shook into melted jello and Gabark and Tristrim are awesomely disoriented, yet have slight mobility now. Gabark ties a rope to an arrow and the other end to himself. The knots he used were so awesome they are still studied by master sailors. He fires the arrow out of the cube and it lands in Evennia’s hands. Rombolas pushes Gabark towards the hole in the gelatin and it increases in size slightly. Tristrim forces his head through the arrow hole and screams for other people to pull the rope, gettin a little hot in this rhino. Evennia and Rohgar start pulling the rope, Rohgar heaves a mighty ho and Gabark comes flying out of the gelatin. Tristrim is hanging halfway out of the cube and Rombolas is only slightly closer to freedom. The gelatinous cube slops forward and engulfs Gabark again. Luckily Rohgar still has the rope so he grabs all the lackeys in tow and they all start pulling. Gabark makes a face so angry it uses a standard action, and resumes eating the gelatin. Rombolas tries another hadoken, no so good this time. Evennia uses this opportunity to make fun of Tristim’s split ends, burn. Tristrim tries to think of something to do while Evennia continues to taunt the hair. He decides to pull himself out but is too slimy to make it happen. With a mighty pull they bring Gabark and Tristrim out and they come crashing into the rescue group. Rombolas is pulled out to the point where he is halfway out of the blob. The blob forms a jelly hammer and smashed it into Evennia. Rohgar instructs the Hexers to shoot magic missiles at the cube around Rombolas, freeing him to the cold grip of the dungeon floor.
Gabark and Rombolas run to the back of the adjacent room and fire an arrow/eldrich blast at the cube. The latter somehow being dodged by the massive mindless blob. Tristrim is confused. The blob shrinks itself to fit through the door and engulfs Evennia and Rohgar. Rohgar tries to heal everyone but its not too easy when you’re lodged in 10 tons of Smucker’s. All the lackeys start shooting and stabbing in a free for all. The gelatinous cube is bloodied, or jellied. Gabark and Rombolas do the usual attacks with familiar results. Tristrim unleashes his most ferocious attack with all the gusto of a melee basic. Despite being inside the blob, Evennia damages the gelatin so much that Jello filed civil lawsuit. An attack so awesome that everyone around her was healed by the erotic energy. Rohgar does his best at 1-upmanship and executes an attack so equivalent to Evennia’s that mimes all over the world began weeping. The cube is defeated and melts, creating a nice sheen on the marble floor.
We enter the blob’s room and begin looking for treasures. With the Lackey’s help we manage to find:
Small Obsidian (41 gp each)
2 x Small Turquoise (42 gp each)
Uncut Malachite (46 gp each)
2 x Uncut Moss Agate (43 gp each)
+1 Magic Armor (phb 230, 360 gp) Cloth Armor (phb 214)
hoard total 729 gp
+400 Experience for defeating the Gelatinous Cube
What feats of daring face our group of adventurers as they press on in this mazical dungeon? No one will ever know.